she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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