Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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