Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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