She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
