If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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