It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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