We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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