My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
