The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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