Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
4 words: hood of his car
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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