did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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