I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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