I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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