If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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