Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
