Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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