We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
