Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
