I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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