sorry about calling you the devil all night.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
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HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I pour the whiskey from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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