he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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