Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This is the high leading the old right now
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
