he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
