her vagine was all disorganized.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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