I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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