Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
