we have pet lesbian snakes
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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