But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
