Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
