everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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