Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
