My liver just broke up with me...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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