margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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