What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
