Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i think my cat just said my name.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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