would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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