how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
