Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
