I hate your face
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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