My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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