Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
