Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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