How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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