Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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