last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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