OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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