I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
