thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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