So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
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We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
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That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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