too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
