I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
