loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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