just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
