Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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