The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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