I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
