ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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