found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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