ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
