let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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