i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Are we still banned from the library?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
