There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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