trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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