Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
